Homemaker Career

Was I so consumed with my daughter’s success because I missed my own?

A year into my career transition we celebrated my daughter’s second birthday. It was a make your own pizza party complete with culinary themed flower arrangements, signs made out of cupcake holders, faux metal tables and handpainted monogram tot sized aprons. Parenthood made me creative.

Up until that point I focused on the skills at which I had spent years refining—social organizing, party planning, advertising, counseling others on life choices and sales. When my friend asked, why are you trying to show-up your friends with your kid’s party. I could confidently respond, Rosa loves to cook and this is my passion (the hours at work weren’t sustainable for my goal and ideals of family). I knew it was true for Rosa, still is. But was that true for me anymore?

I loved parenthood and creating a world that allowed my daughter to thrive as an individual. It seemed appropriate to utilize my strengths to help her. She was two. She ate solids and could do things on her own. She napped and was easy going so I could focus on my volunteer, church and neighborhood outlets. My mind was functioning and she was growing. Then the unexpected occurred. She protested her nap.

My hobbies were no longer manageable. I didn’t have a day-time sitter. I wasn’t prepared to go back to work—goodness, I knew I needed a change but I kept falling back into the same routines; I just wasn’t getting paid anymore. My husband and I began discussing our perspectives on private school versus public school. In response, I thought about preschool. It was an opportunity for us to test our opinions.

All my dual income friends with families sent their children to an academically challenging environment, was my decision to stay home archaic and bad? Was my daughter going to fall behind academically as early as kindergarten? Did MyGym, music class and the one to two weekly playdates equate to sufficient socialization?

I researched the benefits of early childhood education, poled friends and neighbors about their own decisions and decided the educational boost was necessary. Afterall, if I could increase her life long success by 10%, it was worth it. Not to mention I was excited to have a few child-free hours a week. Six schools were evaluated, four visited and after a thorough analysis, we applied to what we thought was the best home away from home for our daughter.

We were on our way to successful parenting. The next step was to get her to think outside of herself. My husband and I discussed having another child. Family was turning into my new career.