Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon, PART I
Scoring a four on the seven degrees of Kevin Bacon scale used to be upsetting for me, I wanted to be an actress. Now though, it leads my brain to my own theory of relativity, one I call the pocket theory. This philosophy has not been formally tested, but I have observed it quarterly for over 20 years. People at the onset of success trajectories tend to engage themselves with other people on similar missions. In my experience these groupings consist of a cacophony of areas—be it sports, entertainment, political, social—that would not necessarily help one another but could encourage. They are the result of taking risks based on philosophically based ideologies. The result is the formation of pockets of influence or individuals who encourage one another to be better and in turn do great things for society (yes, I do believe this can happen in the negative as well, but that is not my focus). Based on this theory, the world truly is our oyster and we need to respond accordingly, work hard at whatever it is we do and take advantage of the opportunities life presents us.
At the beginning of my life cycle and that of my children, the belief that life’s future was within control was an intrinsic belief both my parents and I held. Isn’t this why so many people think about pre-K before our children are born?. What happened though is that I aged and life (okay, parenting in particular) proved to be challenging, moreso than expected. I got sidetracked, even discouraged and demoted my aspirations to lower levels of evolution. I believe I did this, as did my mother because some instinctual maternal force suggested my life would more productive if I focused on the success of others in my family than on my own.
Nonetheless, I surround myself by people, who like me have found these pockets. It may sound shallow and social climby but for me it is motivating and I love taking pride in other people’s successes no matter how different or obtuse they are from my own. It isn’t as though I seek people out, I just happen upon them—like my childhood friend who had dreams of becoming an Olympic swimmer but instead reached professional triathlete status or my princely boss who started the mid-Atlantic’s only private culinary/hospitality institution, even my dad who published two books on his theory of transformation education and has changed the lives of thousands of seriously emotionally disturbed (SED) youth which will affect change on millions of people to come. The fact is, these people and their stories of influential change motivate me to work hard. They remind me how they all had a dream one day and have reached it, so why can’t I?
Granted, one person’s successes or failures don’t always resonate with another’s. Scoring that four on who connects me to Kevin Bacon is similar to a low bowling score for me. At least at this point in my life. It is not the most embarrassing thing in the world—I never wanted to be a famous musician nor do I want to act anymore—and the distance allows me space for other “Kevin Bacon” types in my life. Those brought to me by my children. My world changed as a result of the monumental decisions I made for them. Through the thoughtful, fundamental decisions I have made on their behalf, I have been offered chances to reconnect with my own goals. They give me focus and focus opens doors. However, my question to you is, how can we ascertain that these clusters exist for ourselves as parents and are not a manifestation of our children’s own making or destiny?
