Top 5 Ways to Get Mommy Brain Back on Track
The worst part of motherhood and working is the deterioration of my most important asset. No, not my milk supply, my memory. The catalogue of collective thoughts, organized like a prism that help me make decisions. Ever read Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink? In it, he discusses how we should trust our intuition, because it is normally correct. Well, instinct is connected to memory. And, I think all mothers would agree that we stop trusting ourselves after children are born. Just like IQ, memory can be exercised and strengthened. Following are my top 5 methods for easing the uncontrollable pressures that cause mommy brain:
5. Simplify. The less I care for or think about, the easier it is for memory to function. I thought I wanted to have it all, but having things means cleaning, fixing, storing, essentially making decisions for them, which takes up mental and physical space and results in a loss of focus towards what is essential. Even if I have an “automatic pilot” taking care of those things, I never know when it will break and I might have to get someone else to step in (like me). So, I personally like the philosophy of paring down my belongings to a few items that I truly love and that bring me joy, the Kon Mari method.
4. Use memory to your advantage. Create routine. I am sleepy because of 2am bedwetting emergencies over which I have little control. But if I put all scissors in the same drawer, go to bed at 10 o’clock every night, eat oatmeal each morning, even wash myself in the same order each day, I get better and more efficient at all of it. Less thought on the simple, the necessary becomes automatic, and complex problems don’t seem as challenging.
3. Educate the fear and do it via your ear. Post-children, I am bombarded with more decisions, from how to respond to my changing role with my husband, to making new friends to what type of toy to purchase. For me, this creates fear. Procedural memory should remind me how change reaps rewards, but frightened brain blocks that part of my recall. To gain grounding, I need to educate myself. Between all the new demands, it is difficult to find time to do that. I spend hours in my car, so I try to make use of it! I call friends on my hands-free device or listen to parenting or work CD’s or podcasts. Brene Brown who writes about vulnerability is one of my favorites.
2. Sleep. According to Psychology Today, rest is the best way to bring memory back, it reorganizes our minds and cuts out the unnecessary information so that our brain synapses have a more direct journey. Sleeping is not weak, it’s not being lazy. Sleep is part of leading a balanced life. A consistent bed time makes it easier to wake up the next day. Even a 15 minute nap can prevent thought fatigue.
1. Unload. Delegate mental information onto paper, into the circular bin, or onto someone else. Writing helps me visualize and clarify what is in my mind. As the information becomes more real, it looks less intimidating and it may actually get accomplished or be recognized as something unnecessary. All of the decisions involved with childcare and cooking became overwhelming for me as was evidenced by my inability to get dinner on the table at the same time every night, so my husband took it over. Now, I don’t think about groceries, meals or timing, I’m just grateful to have a healthy evening meal and some extra mental space. . . as long as this part of our journey lasts.
I’d love to know about the memory changes you’ve noticed now that you are juggling more. Check out memory expert, Luke Mastin’s memory chart at Human-memory.net. Make your own analysis and share your stories in the comment section!
